"... those who look only to the past and present are certain to miss the future."

Have you ever madly in love with someone you think you don't deserve? You think you don't deserve him because you've hurt him before in the past. I've experienced that. It hurts so much.

I met this guy few years ago and we dated. But I kinda cheated on him, I mean, I met another guy and then I leave my boy that time. Isn't it cheating?

Time flies too fast and as I grow up, I realize that what I did was wrong. He didn't even do anything wrong, he didn't even hurt me bad or did something I hate. But I just left him. Maybe I gave him a trauma because of what I've done.

Few years after we broke up, we're still close to each other. He come to me everytime he needs to heal and take a break from his life-without-me. We were so close and somehow made me fell in love again with him. But sadly, after I madly in love again (and I thought he wanted us to be back together, too!), he dated another girl. Hah. And it was happened like twice or thrice if I'm not mistaken.

Up until now, we're still a friend. We still talk to each other (through chat, we rarely meet) and sometimes, somehow, he make me want him. But what I can do is just hold my feelings and burry it deep down my heart, because I know he deserve someone better than me :).

Well, let's say that he hurt me too, thrice (when he come and go, make me feel like I'm just a shelter or sth like that), let's say that he have paid back what I did to him, hurt me just like how I hurt him. But you can also say that maybe he didn't have any intention to hurt me, maybe.

Then I remember a sentence John F. Kennedy have said before "... those who look only to the past and present are certain to miss the future."

I kinda believe what Mr. Kennedy said.

So let's say that my story is just a puppy-love. And I have to forget that kind of thing. Life is getting a lot more serious there's no time to think about guys or nonsense-love ❤